"Marriage" the word i heard most was always from my mom. She was all ears and all words when anyone started the topic. I , as a child , got irritated with the subject.
maybe it was to prove me a point of she really wanted to , that my mom did this "match-fixing". The thing she regrets and everyone in the family does.
My mom - dad had a love marriage. Next-door girl falls in love with Dubai return - a typical story. As every women, she kept saying how great her family side was and the argument had same inputs when my dad boasted about his family.
There was this female, who wanted to complete her studies. Her name Rajeshwari (name changed for obvious reasons). She is daughter of dads-moms-cousin sister. From Gujarat. They all came to our house. I still remember her arguing when she came home and she said, let me atleast do someting in life
before getting married. I need to study. And the so called mature people in the room said "padai to shaadi ke baad bhi ho sakti hai! Ladka architect hai..aise rishtey
baar baar nai aate"
So the scene was a filmy drama in my house. And I was rather amused by the whole scene.
But on a different day, and different note, the Grooms side reached our house. The Groom Ramesh. He was a very famous guy in our family. Architect, earning very well. He reached with his elder brother and what I found was he was least intrested too. He had a girl friend , but as it turns out Indian society allows only same case/ same religion and all bullshit relation.
I was in 8th but even i knew from my filmy knowledge , this was not going to work.
At that point I was wondering why are all the oldies in house forcing for this. The dialogues that made rounds were " Love will come eventually"
"its best for her" " she is not very pretty, so this is best match" "its ok , if we force them, they will agree" "maybe the groom wants more dowry"
And admist all this the marriage happened. There were happy smiles all over, except the bride and groom. The bride had a "i have given up, now this is my life" look.
and groom still had no interest.
But the whole on the family had, " Look at what we achieved" Proud look.
Girls side , the relatives were saying " she was so ugly, never knew she will get married to sucha nice guy..he is rich."
Boys side "finally we got rid of the other lower caste girl"
For me the marriage was new dresses, food, and travelling and no studies.
Since I am big fan of taking leaves and skipping school, when my dad said we have to go somewhere I was pretty happy.
The scene was in Ramesh/Rajeshwaris new house. We kids were asked to play outside. Suddenly, I got into the house for water and the scene I saw still pains me.
Rajeshwari was touching Ramesh feet and crying and requesting not the leave her. and everyone were crying, trying to make the guy understand. after all the blames, shotuing and
other things Ramesh said this "See, I had told before I dnt love you. I was forced into it. No one sitting here will understand. But if i live with you, i will be
doing wrong to you. You will understand one day. I love her, she is waiting for me. I maybe doing wrong to all of you , but i m doing right to her"
After all the dialogues he still, was a villian. Some one "no one will ever forgive".
Years had passed, I hardly thought about them. The guy was abandoned. But they say all thats well ends well. He married the other female , has two sweet kids and leaves
a very good life in kerala. Family still doesnt talk to them. But, so what? He is happy with them. who cares about the relatives???
What about the girl?? i never asked my mom until recently. one of our relative died. She could not come. I asked why. Mom said "if she comes, she will hv to come
with all black/ Z security. "
I asked WHAAAAAAAAAT?? WHY?
Mom said "she is a high court judge now. in Gujrat. She is the one who will be judging a very high profile case in Gujarat"
And i am like..whaaaaaaaat???? HOWWW??
The broken marriage never broke her. She never got married again. But she studied law and was the best known lawyer in Gujarat for long and years later she is now the judge. A post men will pay in lakhs, study their ass out and try to get,
So much so!! I respect her.
And I respect him!! you know why???
For some , broken marriage is end of everything . But for her it was a beginning of the destiny she was supposed to be. I always wonder, that day when she was requesting and begging him not to leave, Had he come down with sympathy or listening to the so called elders, she would have been another uneducated House wife with a compromised life!!
And he was right he did do justice to the other girl. They both are winners.
And also makes me wonder, if all women in India are not tied to the marriage shit, where can they exactly reach--Sky is the limit!!!
maybe it was to prove me a point of she really wanted to , that my mom did this "match-fixing". The thing she regrets and everyone in the family does.
My mom - dad had a love marriage. Next-door girl falls in love with Dubai return - a typical story. As every women, she kept saying how great her family side was and the argument had same inputs when my dad boasted about his family.
There was this female, who wanted to complete her studies. Her name Rajeshwari (name changed for obvious reasons). She is daughter of dads-moms-cousin sister. From Gujarat. They all came to our house. I still remember her arguing when she came home and she said, let me atleast do someting in life
before getting married. I need to study. And the so called mature people in the room said "padai to shaadi ke baad bhi ho sakti hai! Ladka architect hai..aise rishtey
baar baar nai aate"
So the scene was a filmy drama in my house. And I was rather amused by the whole scene.
But on a different day, and different note, the Grooms side reached our house. The Groom Ramesh. He was a very famous guy in our family. Architect, earning very well. He reached with his elder brother and what I found was he was least intrested too. He had a girl friend , but as it turns out Indian society allows only same case/ same religion and all bullshit relation.
I was in 8th but even i knew from my filmy knowledge , this was not going to work.
At that point I was wondering why are all the oldies in house forcing for this. The dialogues that made rounds were " Love will come eventually"
"its best for her" " she is not very pretty, so this is best match" "its ok , if we force them, they will agree" "maybe the groom wants more dowry"
And admist all this the marriage happened. There were happy smiles all over, except the bride and groom. The bride had a "i have given up, now this is my life" look.
and groom still had no interest.
But the whole on the family had, " Look at what we achieved" Proud look.
Girls side , the relatives were saying " she was so ugly, never knew she will get married to sucha nice guy..he is rich."
Boys side "finally we got rid of the other lower caste girl"
For me the marriage was new dresses, food, and travelling and no studies.
Since I am big fan of taking leaves and skipping school, when my dad said we have to go somewhere I was pretty happy.
The scene was in Ramesh/Rajeshwaris new house. We kids were asked to play outside. Suddenly, I got into the house for water and the scene I saw still pains me.
Rajeshwari was touching Ramesh feet and crying and requesting not the leave her. and everyone were crying, trying to make the guy understand. after all the blames, shotuing and
other things Ramesh said this "See, I had told before I dnt love you. I was forced into it. No one sitting here will understand. But if i live with you, i will be
doing wrong to you. You will understand one day. I love her, she is waiting for me. I maybe doing wrong to all of you , but i m doing right to her"
After all the dialogues he still, was a villian. Some one "no one will ever forgive".
Years had passed, I hardly thought about them. The guy was abandoned. But they say all thats well ends well. He married the other female , has two sweet kids and leaves
a very good life in kerala. Family still doesnt talk to them. But, so what? He is happy with them. who cares about the relatives???
What about the girl?? i never asked my mom until recently. one of our relative died. She could not come. I asked why. Mom said "if she comes, she will hv to come
with all black/ Z security. "
I asked WHAAAAAAAAAT?? WHY?
Mom said "she is a high court judge now. in Gujrat. She is the one who will be judging a very high profile case in Gujarat"
And i am like..whaaaaaaaat???? HOWWW??
The broken marriage never broke her. She never got married again. But she studied law and was the best known lawyer in Gujarat for long and years later she is now the judge. A post men will pay in lakhs, study their ass out and try to get,
So much so!! I respect her.
And I respect him!! you know why???
For some , broken marriage is end of everything . But for her it was a beginning of the destiny she was supposed to be. I always wonder, that day when she was requesting and begging him not to leave, Had he come down with sympathy or listening to the so called elders, she would have been another uneducated House wife with a compromised life!!
And he was right he did do justice to the other girl. They both are winners.
And also makes me wonder, if all women in India are not tied to the marriage shit, where can they exactly reach--Sky is the limit!!!
